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| The One Who Stole My heart |
My home, like many other houses, has two gates. One is at the front, and the other opens towards the little street at my home's backside. Around two months back, I saw Bachi (a beautiful female dog, with big wolf eyes) lying under a staircase with five little pups around her. I was excited when I saw all of them. They were just so small, even smaller than a tennis ball. Their eyelids were stuck together, and their eyes were forcefully closed. In about ten days, they started opening their eyes. They used to follow me whenever I used to whistle at them.
All five were so damn beautiful and active, but out of all, one little Pup stole my heart. I had a doubt that he was visually impaired. He could trace my voice and follow me, but I think he couldn't see me correctly. He always used to be around his siblings, as he was unable to manage alone. Apart from that, he was weakest among all. He used to scream whenever he was alone, as he couldn't find his way back to his little shelter near the staircase.
Once I found him at the end of the street, screaming and banging his head here and there, trying hard to find his way back. I whistled at him, and he started following that irritating voice and successfully found his way back.
After a week or so, I realized that he was able to see a little. I discovered this by placing him at a four-feet height on a small cemented platform, to feed him chapatti and milk with a bit more attention. Soon, his legs started shivering, and he started looking downwards. I was happy when I discovered that. I patted him, and I lifted him in my arms. I told him to trust me and kept him back at that little platform. He started eating without being afraid of height.
One Sunday morning, I woke up a bit late, and that too because of someone screaming outside my home. I saw him walking in my backyard. I asked my Mom what is he doing in the backyard. She said with an alarming voice that some dogs attacked the Pup. They dragged him while holding the little one in between their jaws. I ran towards him and saw him panting. He looked at me and waged his tail. I picked him up immediately and saw a big hole in his abdomen. I could see some internal bleeding and a yellowish noodle kind of thing coming out of that hole. I rushed to the Veterinary clinic near my home. They told me to run to the hospital as the little one needs stitches before any dressing.
I rushed to the hospital, but there was no staff available. They all went for lunch. One kind doctor gave him pain-killers, which helped him to bear the pain for a while. The doctor who had to perform the operation came after one hour. They gave him anaesthesia quickly and took him to the operation theatre.
They bring him back in an unconscious condition. The internal bleeding was so much, but the doctor said that the recovery chances are more than fifty per cent. I brought him back home, and he slept the whole afternoon. He woke up around six in the evening and started crying. I patted him, and he went back to sleep. After two more hours and another episode of screaming, he slept again.
After Nine, I got up from my desk and started preparing the bed for him. I guided my wife to mind her step as the little one is sleeping near our bed. I went to that basket in which he was lying. I picked him up, but something looked fishy. I tried to shake him up, but he wasn't breathing. I panicked a bit and start giving CPR. I called my Mom to confirm whether there any chances, but she denied. The little Pup, who stole my heart, had left his mortal body.
Honestly speaking, I have seen innumerable dogs bidding me goodbye and leaving their mortal body. I was able to cope up. But this time, I couldn't. I was normal at first. I was consoling my wife as she was crying a lot. After bidding him goodbye, we went to bed. I slept for a while, but specific memories of the time I spent with him disturbed me. I was remembering him revolving round and round to find his way back to the shelter. When I was feeding him on that four-foot platform and telling him to trust me, everything was coming like a picture in front of my eyes.
That was it. I couldn't control myself and cry like a maniac.
I don't cry easily. But that night, I was not in my control.
No matter how much one reads about detachment and not getting attached to someone, It gives one a hard time to practice the concept. No matter how much you try to learn about the body and the soul concept, sometimes you fail miserably when applying that concept. Human emotions are hazardous. They have the tendency to make a person look crazy.
The next morning I was lost somewhere when I dropped my wife at her office on my scooter. I checked my phone after dropping her when two white feathers fell on my shoulder. I looked above but found nothing. I don't know what happened to me, but I kept those feathers with me in my fanny pack.
I asked my friend, who is a tarot card reader that what could this be. She replied that that's a message from angels. Now, I have a reasonable belief in Archangels, and I have literally felt their presence around me many times. I researched about this feather message on the internet when I found this video.
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| I pasted the feathers in my journal |
That lady in the video said something that I couldn't control my tears. She said that it's a message from someone who has left this mortal world that he or she has reached safely in heaven, and now you should stop grieving.
Love, it's a crazy thing. Whether it is one-sided or both ways, it has beauty. But when someone loves you back with the same passion, trust me, that feeling cannot be described in mere words. That love can cross all the mortal boundaries. It's beyond the body, beyond the mind, beyond everything.
I lost him, but I'm happy that he is safe and became my guardian angel.
To conclude this, I just want to say that being emotionally vulnerable doesn't make someone weak. Weakness appears when someone stops doing something because of the fear of heartbreak and that grief. But you can mark my words, I will not stop falling in love, again and again with those little kiddos, who expects nothing but love.
Love, Laughter, and Peace
Himanshu R Nagpal
2 comments:
Just read this piece. Beautifully written. I appreciate the empathy you expressed through your words. It's a rare quality. Keep up the good work. I will explore more of your write ups with time. :)
It's so touching. I feel sorry �� for your loss. You write and express yourself so well.
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